Live A Little

Are you punishing yourself for something which is not your fault?

Well honestly, I don't know how to start and addressing something which I very much have known on a personal level. But remember, there's a saying -- “God loves you for what you are and not for what you do or don't ."

• Think for a second, what makes you feel like to punish yourself?
• Is it a heartbroken love relation?
• Is it that you lost someone?
• Is it a grieving process?
• It's that you have had seen so much worse things in life that make you feel trash?
• Do you feel worthless?

Mental issues that are directly connected with emotions are very critical and vulnerable. One bad step and it could let to be so worse to get back on track. I know the pains from my personal experiences and trust me I don't want any of you to go through the same trauma. It takes ages to heal up, it takes too much effort to self-control after you push to destroy yourself.

Listen! Don't let yourself get shattered in the process. No one is worth dying for. Life is beautiful, its a gift and there is no second chance left for the next trial.

Whether you agree or don't but there's a Voice inside which always guides you through good and bad times. When some serious decisions needed to be taken, it will always tell you to go for the right ones. Don't ignore it and learn to trust that inner instinct voice.

No Doctor, teacher, preacher or Counsellor can tell you what is good and right for you. It's you. The Voice inside you will always whisper to you if you look for your answers. The process of Self-healing starts with self-guidance and self-love.

You can get proper professional help if you are dealing with Depression and if you are aware of it.

We all know what depression is and how it acts. Depression is a war where you either win or die trying because it creates zombies with no will to live. So get help. It's okay to say that you feel pain, It's okay to say that you are not okay.

You might have seen all ups and downs, and trusted someone or something more than you trust yourself in love but this is not the correct way. You have to and you need to put your own self at priority. When we love someone more than ourselves, we tend to give the importance and preference for the person more than any other thing in our life which always turns into a huge blunder and a big mistake.

80%- 90% of peoples find their own mistakes in taking such steps and they started blaming themselves for a lifetime rather than correcting themselves. It's okay we all do mistakes as human and we learn from them. You need to put yourself on a primary level to understand the difference. Analyzing and taking time to go through everything in a relation, to feel every minute feeling, every emotion is the right step when you are falling for someone. You never know who could betray you or ditch you later. So it's definitely not your fault and you can't blame yourself for something which is not your action.

Now you could say-- When you fall for someone it doesn't give that much time to think or process because it just happens. But you have to be careful especially if you have had bad experiences. Self-analyzing will never be a negative step.

My experience says-- Take time, process everything in any relation. Take baby steps towards healing. If you are feeling any pain, let it go through, if you feel like to cry, let the tears flow and don't stop yourself. But once you have done, get over it and put up with yourself. You are not worthless or trash that someone could easily betray you or take advantage of you. Allow your soul to heal.

It's okay to feel down or sad or not feel right to talk about it at times but don't let it overwhelmed you if it comes at the price of your destruction. There will be scars and bruises inside your emotional mind just as same as we get scars outside if we fall. Don't try to provoke the thoughts when it hurts. But at the same time, don't hide the pain, don't try to be anything which you are not. It's Okay that you got hurt emotionally and don't trust anyone easily. But don't fall into deep thinking which will be pointless and numb and leads you to depression.

Overthinking, Self-blaming, Remain saddened for months will only hurt your soul value and you will only be punishing yourself for someone else's sin. Forgiving ourselves is very hard but it the only way to lead the life head high.

Before Self Blaming, Ask yourself these questions

• Do you think that's a pain is worthy?
• Do you think you are worthy to stay and remain unhappy?
• Do you think the person who is behind everything worthy of your pain and distress?
• Do you think you don't deserve a second chance in life to be happy and free?
• Do you think you can't love again or trust others?

Think Again and Act according to that

I must say, grieving is a completely different process and people eventually blame themselves for someone's else untimely demise but that is wrong.

I did it too and I grieved for more than 10 years in self-blaming, and then one day I realized I lost my 10 precious years of life for something so impractical that it wasn't even related to me and it was not even my fault.

This advice coming from a person who has had countless heartbroken, countless sleepless nights, and spent 10 years in self-correction only to realize that people around you will never be 100% happy for you.

You can't love someone truly until you forgive your self (if you blamed yourself) and loved yourself. Learn to accept either good or bad because it's the part of your life. You just can't keep on blaming yourself for something which is not your fault.

Have faith in your self and let the time passes by. Your bad experience will at least teach you a lesson that may be in a hard way but that's should also work for your positive approach towards life. Treating yourself worthless is not, only punishing your soul, but also your self-esteem and you don't deserve this.

© Hena Ghosh

Photo by Bekka Mongeau from Pexels